I typed this up and sent it to my Mother-in-Law...and then decided to send it to the rest of my family...oh, and co-workers! Yes, it's from 2008 - but I thought it would be appropriate that this would be the first, of many, stories:
Last Saturday was entertaining, and I’ll try my best to express the hilarious events that unfolded: we bought a new king size mattress – let me back up: you know how the stairway from the main level to upstairs in our house is steep and closely followed by a low ceiling making it especially difficult to bring items up from down and taken down from up. That being said, we bought a king mattress knowing it would have to be taken from the back yard, up over the deck and railing and into our bedroom. We got home from Gillette – our neighbors probably already think we’re crazy – and dropped the dogs off in the back yard, pulled around and got the trailer and left again. Got the mattress and came back – neighbors still outside looking at their watches and probably thinking "this is going to be good". So the box springs are easy of course and can actually be taken up the stairs…get those in the house…done.
Now, Patrick has done this miraculous transformation into the Incredible Hulk and believes that we (apparently when he’s The Hulk, I’m Mrs. The Hulk), yes WE, can maneuver this mattress across the yard and simply pull it up the deck with a rope…using sheer muscular force…I said no, and he simply said "grab the other end". Ok, fine…so when I couldn’t get it off of the trailer, I just started laughing, this of course just didn’t help the situation. I suggested that since I couldn’t carry the mattress we go get a tarp to pull the mattress across the yard on…so this is how it goes, and it works out really great. We get the mattress over to where it should be and look up….at this point I’m hopeful that Patrick has caught on to the notion that since we couldn’t carry it across they yard together we wouldn’t be able to simply tie a rope onto this behemoth and hoist ‘er up onto the deck. He hadn’t caught on….so he gets the rope tied, and now we're hanging over the railing on the 2nd story, trying to pull up the mattress…it didn’t budge. So I suggest getting the ATV, hooking the rope onto that and pulling the mattress up that way – yes, we are officially rednecks and I’m sure the banjo music was blaring.
Ok, so in order to do this we have to unload the garage, get the ATV out and drive it around the house to the gate…by now we have the neighbor’s FULL attention – we’re a spectator sport you see…. We get the rope hooked onto the ATV, and it pulls the mattress up just fine because we are still using the deck railing and a tree branch for leverage….what a good deck we had (yes, had…this comes into play later in the story). Now, the mattress is dangling perilously from the railing and once again we are hanging over the edge trying to pull it up and over – once again it doesn’t budge. I decide we need to get the dead weight off of the rope and mattress, and should support it somehow….I ask about the new jack in the garage….Patrick dryly (at this point I’ve been laughing about 2 hours and he’s still surprisingly un-amused) states that the jack only goes to 22"….well obviously that isn’t enough, so in my excitement I shout "SCAFFOLDING, WE NEED TO SET UP THE SCAFFOLDING"….you know, as if that was the answer to the $1MM question. Yes, we still have Carl's scaffolding…how handy this has just become… So now we’re running around like on one of those personal challenge survivor-type shows as if we’re in a race against time….as if there is a financial payoff at the end of the scaffolding assembly. Ok, scaffolding is up, and the mattress weight is now on one of the planks….Patrick, the dear, still thinks with pure brut he can push this mattress 5’ over his head from where he’s standing on a plank up over the top of the deck railing and ta-da! Yeah, I didn’t think so either, but you’ve got to love his determination. Once again, up on the deck leaning over to PULL the mattress…and of course, once again it doesn’t work… I begin quizzing him on the saw selection in the garage…so the deck railing is now cut off, the mattress is shoved onto the flat surface since it no longer has to go up and over anything…and it is in our room…
No, he has yet to ask me why we needed a king size mattress
No, he has yet to remind me that I have created more work since we now need a new deck railing
No, he has yet to actually sleep in the new bed
Yes, I still think this is ridiculously funny!
3 years later the bed story is still the source of many laughs in the Hahn house...at least for the one with the pictures!.
Last Saturday was entertaining, and I’ll try my best to express the hilarious events that unfolded: we bought a new king size mattress – let me back up: you know how the stairway from the main level to upstairs in our house is steep and closely followed by a low ceiling making it especially difficult to bring items up from down and taken down from up. That being said, we bought a king mattress knowing it would have to be taken from the back yard, up over the deck and railing and into our bedroom. We got home from Gillette – our neighbors probably already think we’re crazy – and dropped the dogs off in the back yard, pulled around and got the trailer and left again. Got the mattress and came back – neighbors still outside looking at their watches and probably thinking "this is going to be good". So the box springs are easy of course and can actually be taken up the stairs…get those in the house…done.
Now, Patrick has done this miraculous transformation into the Incredible Hulk and believes that we (apparently when he’s The Hulk, I’m Mrs. The Hulk), yes WE, can maneuver this mattress across the yard and simply pull it up the deck with a rope…using sheer muscular force…I said no, and he simply said "grab the other end". Ok, fine…so when I couldn’t get it off of the trailer, I just started laughing, this of course just didn’t help the situation. I suggested that since I couldn’t carry the mattress we go get a tarp to pull the mattress across the yard on…so this is how it goes, and it works out really great. We get the mattress over to where it should be and look up….at this point I’m hopeful that Patrick has caught on to the notion that since we couldn’t carry it across they yard together we wouldn’t be able to simply tie a rope onto this behemoth and hoist ‘er up onto the deck. He hadn’t caught on….so he gets the rope tied, and now we're hanging over the railing on the 2nd story, trying to pull up the mattress…it didn’t budge. So I suggest getting the ATV, hooking the rope onto that and pulling the mattress up that way – yes, we are officially rednecks and I’m sure the banjo music was blaring.
Ok, so in order to do this we have to unload the garage, get the ATV out and drive it around the house to the gate…by now we have the neighbor’s FULL attention – we’re a spectator sport you see…. We get the rope hooked onto the ATV, and it pulls the mattress up just fine because we are still using the deck railing and a tree branch for leverage….what a good deck we had (yes, had…this comes into play later in the story). Now, the mattress is dangling perilously from the railing and once again we are hanging over the edge trying to pull it up and over – once again it doesn’t budge. I decide we need to get the dead weight off of the rope and mattress, and should support it somehow….I ask about the new jack in the garage….Patrick dryly (at this point I’ve been laughing about 2 hours and he’s still surprisingly un-amused) states that the jack only goes to 22"….well obviously that isn’t enough, so in my excitement I shout "SCAFFOLDING, WE NEED TO SET UP THE SCAFFOLDING"….you know, as if that was the answer to the $1MM question. Yes, we still have Carl's scaffolding…how handy this has just become… So now we’re running around like on one of those personal challenge survivor-type shows as if we’re in a race against time….as if there is a financial payoff at the end of the scaffolding assembly. Ok, scaffolding is up, and the mattress weight is now on one of the planks….Patrick, the dear, still thinks with pure brut he can push this mattress 5’ over his head from where he’s standing on a plank up over the top of the deck railing and ta-da! Yeah, I didn’t think so either, but you’ve got to love his determination. Once again, up on the deck leaning over to PULL the mattress…and of course, once again it doesn’t work… I begin quizzing him on the saw selection in the garage…so the deck railing is now cut off, the mattress is shoved onto the flat surface since it no longer has to go up and over anything…and it is in our room…
No, he has yet to ask me why we needed a king size mattress
No, he has yet to remind me that I have created more work since we now need a new deck railing
No, he has yet to actually sleep in the new bed
Yes, I still think this is ridiculously funny!
3 years later the bed story is still the source of many laughs in the Hahn house...at least for the one with the pictures!.
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