THE Cleanse

So I haven't been feeling so great lately and I don't really like to just take something that appears to deal with symptoms - I want to solve the problem.  My Yoga instructor, Karen, is also an Aurvedic Practitioner and we've been straightening out a few of my issues at a time with Ayurvedic remedies...

Some of the remedies, you ask? Well, Cumin, Corriander and Fennel tea...which Patrick about spit back into the mug and my Mother says is missing steak, salt and pepper, but is otherwise a nice broth.... Then there's the oil and Turmeric on my skin...makes me look like I have Jaundice and prompts Patrick to sigh "there's Turmeric everywhere" because it winds up on the floor, the bathroom mirrors and everywhere else. The Aloe Vera Juice...which Karen told me tastes like lime juice (in case you're wondering, it does NOT...at least not at first). Ah, yes, and Ghee on the feet, which makes Patrick laugh thinking of the episode of Frasier.

Back to not feeling well - so Karen is doing an Ayurvedic Cleanse which will affect the liver and other organs.  GREAT!  I'm in!  (Remember the part about Yoga where I didn't ask many questions before the first session began?!?!) I received an e-mail last week: no caffeine, alcohol, white sugar or cigarettes.  Ok, the only one on there that doesn't pertain to me are the cigarettes.  I uttered an inaudible "shit" and closed the e-mail.  Reassured myself that, "I can do this", and moved on to something else.

Today I received a follow-up e-mail so that we can start to really prepare for the cleanse starting on Thursday....wonder if she knew I hadn't been cutting out anything...except for the cigarettes...I've managed to not get hooked on those since the last e-mail!  The e-mail today suggested some herbs to try - herbs, GREAT!  I do well with herbs - please refer to what my Mother called "broth" above. It also suggested having some specific vegetables, fruit and rice cakes "on hand".....okay, I'm going to starve. 

Then it happened. Another e-mail.  This time detailing do's and don'ts. I'm totally screwed!  The wine and martinis were bad enough to give up - apparently even if there's lemon or a cherry in my martinis...which qualifies as fruit...it's still not allowed.  This e-mail claimed there was "more to come" when we meet on Thursday. Oh, good.

I sent the lists I've received so far to Patrick as he has (forcibly) agreed to do this with me.  What that means is that during the week when he's in Gillette, he can do whatever he wants. When he's here, he has to follow the same dietary rules as me.  That will be no dairy, meat, fish, eggs....oh, and the part about alcohol? Yup, none of that either.  He's allowed to keep his plain-made-at-home drip coffee, but no Starbucks.  Remembering the vows, I'm pretty sure there was something about 'in sickness and in health'...doesn't this fall into that category?

T-2 days until this all begins!