Presentation

It’s all about presentation.  Food. Drinks. Marketing. Dress codes. The way we say things.

I made a Facebook post asking for help looking for a certain type of chile, as it is that time of year.  Opposed to answering the question of ‘does anyone know how much a bushel is’ with a yes, no or an amount, I received, instead, other chile options.  One of them was suggested quite nicely and I think I’ll try that one.  One person simply questioned my choice and redirected me toward what he suggested in the “I’m-serious-but-this-winking-smiley-face-looks-like-I’m-kidding way”. (Actually, I totally love this guy, so I do think he was being funny!) A third person was genuine and simply gave me the name of a place to find what I was looking for.

Then there was a final post – this one clearly unhelpful, rude and totally lacking presentation. First of all, he described was I was looking for as “lousy” and posted “yuck!” and went on to tell me where to get them if I ‘must have them’. No further suggestion. Okay. I get it. You don’t like what I like – in all fairness, that’s perfectly acceptable.

What was I supposed to say? I know what I wanted to say – it was going to be just as presentation-lacking as, and coincidentally rhyming with, “yuck!” and would have ignored the small amount of grace and humility I have managed to acquire. So, instead, I wrote back that I was unsure how to respond to the insult but that I appreciated him for taking the time to reply. No F-Bomb dropped, grace and humility intact.

Still I go back to what isn’t acceptable: the way in which the reply was presented.  There were so many other options for a comment, the first one being none at all. The second one could have been a suggestion and perhaps a reason or two as to why the suggestion is preferred – it could have included why the original chile wasn’t preferred using something more articulate than “yuck” and “lousy”.

What is it that leads one to believe that a simple question calls for an insult for a response? I’m not his buddy, his pal, his sister….I’m some chick he went to high school with that I haven’t seen in 12 years and we happen to be Facebook 'friends'.

I’m not angry, irritated or annoyed by the reply. Instead, it is called into question for showing up on my radar as a lack of presentation by someone I don’t exactly know. In all fairness, he doesn’t know me either. No, this isn't where I attempt to have my attitude go from 10 to 1,000 in .00003 seconds in the form of “YOU don’t know ME!!”.  This simply questions the reply itself. If you don’t know your audience, it is simply better to be polite rather than insulting. The insult was uncalled for and really out of line with the question posed.

Perhaps I ask too much of people. Oh, who are we kidding? I set the bar so high there’s no possible way for others to not fail. You know it, I know it, and really, it should come as no surprise.  It isn’t something I strive for, but I'm not uncomfortable with it either. I can’t help but wonder what my reaction would be from someone I am close to. Would I take it as poor presentation? Would people that know me better not respond to a generic question with an insult to begin with?

As I did the final read-through of this post, I received another Facebook reply from him stating "not intended as an insult, just a comment :-)". Perhaps the original reply was meant as more of a comment opposed to an insult, but it didn't come across that way, and therein lies the problem.

It’s all about presentation.